Philosophical Light Bulb Jokes

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends on how you define “change”.

Q: How many Analytic Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - it’s a pseudo-problem ... light bulbs give off light (hence the name) ... if the bulb was broken and wasn’t giving off light, it wouldn’t be a “light bulb” now would it? (oh, where has rigor gone?!)

Q: How many deconstructionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: On the contrary, the NILE is the longest river in Africa.

Q: How many Process philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one really fast one--to stand in front of the bulb and block it from prehending the attribute of “brokenness” in the next 1/32nd of a second!

Q: How many speech act theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Do you really want to know or are you simply asking me to change it?